


For Massive Damage

by AaronStack51



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, NEXTWAVE, Nextwave (Comic)
Genre: Broccoli Men, Explosions, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AaronStack51/pseuds/AaronStack51
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The continuing adventures of the Nextwave Squad doing the best job in America: Healing the country by beating people (and the occasional UWMD) up. This time, the things they face are more suited to be on a dinner table than being Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Massive Damage

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fanfics, so all reviews, advice, and criticisms are welcome. I do my best to do justice to each and every one of these awesome characters, but if I make any mistakes, please let me know.
> 
> Canon-wise, this should be after the events of the series, with H.A.T.E. out of the picture. Yes, the Shockwave Rider blew up, but ☠☠☠☠ that, right?
> 
> Nextwave and all associated characters belong to Marvel and is the creation of (the awesome) Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and the great, great people who worked on the book. Also, they are in your room and touching your stuff.
> 
> In any case, enjoy!

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Tabby pops the bubble of her gum again, putting her feet up on a control panel.

Aaron lets out yet another frustrated sigh before replying, "For the twenty-first time, not yet!"

"You know, when we were in the Av--" Monica's words were quickly cut off by everyone (except The Captain, who is sleeping in his seat, snoring loud enough to wake the dead) shooting her a cold glare.

"Darling, we've heard that one a hundred times before." Elsa adds, loading shells into her shotgun.

"There's no reception here!" Tabby holds up her phone, waving it in the air like she just don't care. Bored, she tosses a small cherry bomb onto Captain's lap, muttering "Boom" with a mischievous smile on her face. The energy ball explodes, waking Captain up and causing him to bump his head on the control panel, cursing up a storm afterwards.

 --NEXTWAVE: Are very bored.--

Monica stands from her seat, approaching Aaron at the helm. "Remind me where we're going again?"

Not turning from the view screen, Aaron replies, "(insert town here). The new Marketing Plan," Tabby waves around a brown folder, "states that Infinity, LLC. (A subsidiary of Beyond Corporation), will be testing /another/ UWMD there today."

"What kind of ☠☠☠☠ name is (insert town here)?" Captain chimes in, still clutching his head. Tabby holds up the folder at him open at the product page, "That's what it says. (insert town here), Ohio."

Monica frowns, crossing her arms. "And here I thought we're done with this ☠☠☠☠. What is it this time?" Tabby looks at the Marketing Plan again, squinting."There's only, like, a black bar over the name here."

"That's called redacted data, Tabby." Elsa stands up, walking away from the bridge, "Which means I'll need more shotgun shells."

* * *

 

A few hours later, the Shockwave Rider hovers above an empty city street as the Nextwave Squad exits one by one. Monica does a quick headcount, noticing one missing.”Where’s Tabby?” Tabby pokes her head out, phone on her ear, from the viscous red liquid that serves as the entrance, shouting back. “There’s reception here! I haven’t called anyone in, like, five hours!”

Aaron extends an arm and snatches the phone from her ear. “CLANKY!” “You can call on the ground. Signal reception’s good down here.” She rolls her eyes and jumps out on her flight harness, landing near the others.

“Listen up!” Monica turns, addressing the others, “We don’t know what we’re dealing with, so keep your eyes peeled!” The only reply to that was a huge yawn from Captain, followed with a shotgun butt to his head.

Soon after, the team walks through the empty street, when suddenly a familiar face (or lack thereof) appears on the TV screens of an electronics shop. “The Nextwave Squad,” Mister Sssh of the S.I.L.E.N.T. core cell starts, “We cannot believe you people fell for this, /again/!”

“How does that guy, you know, speak? He has no mouth!” Tabby interjects, only to be met with a loud shush from Monica.

Mister Sssh is seen talking to someone off-screen, waving his arms angrily, before turning back to address the camera, “Ahem. We might have blown our budget on building something that will finally kill you all this time, so we have no city on jets today. Running an evil megacorporation when your main research base has been stolen isn’t easy, you know. Regardless,” he steeples his fingers, “You will all die.” He starts to laugh maniacally, the laugh suddenly turning into coughing as the feed abruptly cuts.

* * *

 

“Idiot.” Captain says bluntly, right before jeeps drive toward the team, carrying Broccoli Men.

“Not as much as you are.” Aaron adds, extending his arms to tip over one jeep.

Monica screams out, “Nextwave, assem—“ “This isn’t, like, the Avengers.” Tabby makes a gesture to surround a Broccoli Man with her explosive balls, before blowing them up.

“But we need a battle cry! Microwave Blast!” She holds out her arms at an oncoming wave of Broccoli Men, unleashing a microwave energy blast, frying them to a crisp.

“☠☠☠☠ this!” Captain punches a hole in a Broccoli Man’s head, before kicking off the body to hit another one. Not so far away, Elsa shoves her shotgun barrel clean through a Broccoli Man’s torso before firing to hit another one behind him. “Given what we deal all the time, that works!”

“For the love of your fleshy God, anything but assemble. Now die, vegetable men.” With a click-clacking sound, Aaron turns his arm into a suite of cutting implements, dashing towards the mass of plantoid humanoids opening fire at him, shrugging off the bullets. With a few deft slashes, he slices and dices (unfortunately, doesn’t chicken fried rices) the Broccoli Men.

Minutes later, they stand in the middle of a mess, pieces of broccoli strewn about, some crispy, some diced, their jeeps sticking out on the walls of buildings. “This all you got, faceless fleshbag?” Aaron shouts at the sky, prompting Monica to reply through gritted teeth. “Don’t...tempt...them....”

Tabby pops her gum, dialing someone on her phone, “What’s the worst that can happen? Oooh, clothes!” Phone between her shoulder and ear, she blows up a jeep blocking the way between her and the clothes store, skipping in through the window.

* * *

 

All of a sudden, the whole street goes dark under the shadow of something. Something massive, rounded, and....red?

"It's a crab. A mother☠☠☠☠ing giant crab." Aaron deadpanned, looking up at the sky. "And it flies." Captain added, noticing the jets behind it.

"Fools! This is the Genocide Crab, Mark XIII!" Mister Sssh's voice booms from the giant crab's loudspeakers.

Elsa reloads her shotgun and asks the others, "So it took them thirteen tries to get /that/ right?" Once again, Mister Sssh's voice is heard from the loudspeakers. "It doesn't matter how many tries it took! What matters, is that this will kill you all!"

A hole opens up on the Genocide Crab's underside, pouring out countless Homicide Crabs. "As if we don't have enough already...." Monica sighs and blasts off, dodging the crab's shots left and right, before shouting "Photon Stream!" to blast some of the crabs.

Bags of clothes dangling from one arm, Tabby throws her explosive balls to act as anti-air weapons, shooting the crabs out of the sky.

Meanwhile, Elsa plays crowd control on the ground, shooting the crabs that made it to land. "Just like shooting womp rats at home!" Busy stepping on the crabs, Captain stops to ask, "Aren't womp rats.....nevermind."

Scanning the Genocide Crab while making crabsticks out of the falling crabs, Aaron shouts to Monica. "Attack its underside!" Monica speeds off to the hole where the Homicide Crabs are pouring from.....and promptly bounces off like a tiny insignificant particle.

"Radiation shielding, damn. You're up." Aaron taps Captain (currently struggling with a crab on his face) on the shoulder. As soon as he rips the crab off, he takes off toward the Genocide Crab, flying at top speed to punch through the giant crab, leaving a gaping hole, coming out on the other side.

As soon as Captain is through, Aaron scans through the hole, finding an orb, pulsing with a red light. "Looks like a weak point. You people know where to hit."

He puts his hands together, with a click-clacking sound transforming them into a massive energy cannon.

"Tick tick tick..." Tabby puts down her shopping bags and starts counting down while forming yellow balls in the air.

Looking down at her shotgun, Elsa loads explosive shells into it before aiming at the so-called "weak point".

Hovering nearby the Genocide Crab, Monica charges up her energy preparing to fire.

Meanwhile, Captain flies up behind the Crab, cocking his leg back, preparing to kick it into a better angle for the others.

"Now!" Without hesitation, Captain gives the Crab a mighty punt, sending it hurtling to the ground.

As it falls, Tabby sends her yellow balls, explosions starting to dot its way from the surface to its pulsing core.

Elsa cocks her shotgun and starts firing several shells, adding to the orchestra of booms.

"Proton Stream!" Monica starts blasting the now-unshielded Genocide Crab, just as Captain asks, "Didn't you use that already?" Not budging from her stance, she answers, "Pro-ton, not Pho-ton!"

Careful not to cross his stream with Monica's, Aaron fires his energy cannon at the core, amping up the power each second.

After the team's intense bombardment, the core finally gives way and explodes, the Genocide Crab bursting in a massive explosion, sending shockwaves throughout the town, breaking windows everywhere.

* * *

 

As the dust settles, the team stands in the middle of millions of Homicide Crabs, rendered inert by the Genocide Crab's destruction. "You know...I think I figured out why this was redacted." Elsa speaks up, picking crabs out of her massive ponytail. "Why?" Tabby asks back, looking for her bags buried under a mountain of crabs. "It was so much utter bollocks that even their investors couldn't know about it." "Seconded." Captain's muffled voice is heard as he raises an arm, having been buried under a massive pile of crabs. "No ☠☠☠☠." Aaron chimes in, his legs extended to kick the mounds of crabs away. "So..." Monica looks around at all the crabs, hands on her hips. "What's next?"

 

\--You have been reading NEXTWAVE: Five pirate super heroes versus a terrorist corporation and their Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction being tested on the United States. Again.--

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the creative team of Nextwave and to Thunder Thighs, whose (only) song I must've played a thousand times during the writing of this work. I ended up with an organized sock drawer, too!
> 
> Now, to get myself a Lettermatic 7053 to handle the fan-mail. Does anyone know where to get one of those cheap?


End file.
